Want to keep your peace of mind in this world? Embrace the art of detachment.
Do you want peace, or do you want problems?
If you want all the smoke and problems, then I can’t be mad at ya, but this post may not be for you. However, if you want peace more than problems, congrats, you are in the right place!
Now that you have acknowledged that you want a peaceful life, it’s time to reflect on the energy you put out and your daily actions.
Do you tend to make a mountain out of a molehill?
When something goes wrong against your plan, do you spend all day complaining to anyone who will listen?
When someone snaps at you unwarranted, are you quick to return the same energy?
If any of these apply to you, I want you to ask yourself again, do I want peace or all these manufactured problems? This blog post will discuss the importance of detachment and share ways to remove your energy when you feel it is being siphoned.
“Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive.”
In essence, detachment is about minding your own business. For example, if someone is rude to you unwarranted, you can choose to say a prayer for them and keep it moving. I know you are probably rolling your eyes at this, like why I got to be the bigger person. Why can’t I tell them about themselves and let them have it? A helpful way to look at the people who do this to you is to think about their mindset. Imagine what mindset you must be in to be rude to someone else without cause. Yikes! Spooky hours!
Here's a method I use: Try to envision them in that energy like a dark green fog surrounding them and decide then and there if you want to step in and join them in that fog. Do you want that mess on your cute shoes, dirtying up your hair, and inhaling that funk? Sometimes you must break it down like that visually to get the picture and act accordingly!
From a different lens, look at the state of our world. In these times, people are angry and upset, and justifiably so! We are in a multi-year pandemic; jobs and loved ones are being taken away and lost, and groceries and living costs are expensive. Whether they want to admit it or not, everyone has felt some form of paranoia about simply being outside their home. Every one of us has a LOT to be mad about! *Alexa plays Mad by Solange ft. Lil Wayne*
I want to highlight our trying times in hopes that this will inspire some empathy towards your fellow human beings. We are all one, regardless of what society and the media portrays. There isn’t room for a divide and conquer, us vs. them mentality when all are connected and affected in this universe. A huge part of practicing the art of detachment is ironically having sympathy for others even when they are trying your nerves! We don’t know what people are going through, so why even engage?
I know this is easier said than done and will take several trials and errors (ask me how I know), but once you get in your groove, you will realize that most of the negative energy people throw your way is not about you. So let it boomerang off you and return it to sender!
I don’t want to promote letting people walk all over you or always stay in a passive state. I want to highlight that everything you do and engages with is a decision. Your life, your choices. Make a list of your non-negotiables, things that you will stand up to regardless, and attempt to stick to that list. Revise it as often as needed. In any situation outside that list, ask yourself, is this worth my time, energy, and resources to focus on? If the answer is no, try using the quick methods listed in this post or doing the work written in my How-to-guide for dealing with your emotions blog post.
For example, If someone cuts you off on the interstate and you get scared and upset at them being inconsiderate, I don’t think this is wrong as it is human nature to feel those emotions. But if this happens to you in your morning commute to work, you rant and rave about it throughout lunch, and even when you get home, and your kids are asking for help with homework, your loved ones want some alone time, and you still can’t get the spirit of the bitterness off you? That could be a sign that you need to get more comfortable with allowing yourself to feel the emotion but being proactive about letting the emotion go. How can you keep peace of mind if you hold on to adverse situations and thoughts?
Another quick method I like to use when I feel myself getting worked up is envisioning quicksand. Try pretending you are standing outside. From a distance, you see a puddle of quicksand, and everything surrounding it is falling in. That coworker who is always instigating. They fall in. That partner or soon-to-be ex-partner tries to get you riled up emotionally. They are in. That family member who stays commenting on your weight. They are in too! When you see the quicksand, you can visualize yourself moving towards it, then staying stuck and allowing it to drown you. Or you can picture yourself walking in the opposite direction from the area as soon as you acknowledge you are close to it. Once you see someone else falling in who wants to pull you in with them, take note of what is happening and run out of there! This is a quick and helpful way to observe an emotion from afar and not let it take over my day and energy. You can control what you focus on and what feelings you decide to hold on to or drown in.
While writing this, I discovered that I have multiple meanings of detachment and examples of how I practice it! This blog post became very different than what I envisioned when I thought of this topic, so I will write part 2 about what detachment means to me and how to exert it as an empowerment tool. If you enjoyed this post, subscribe, and share it with your friends and loved ones. Then, stay tuned for part 2!
Leave a comment about a time someone tried you, and you held space for detaching instead of reacting!